Unplug for a Little Bit

I know this will seem a tad strange coming from a guy with three laptops, but I have noticed more and more the insanity of people needing to be in front of their computers every damn minute of every day. Seems like almost every day I see more and more people on the bus working on their laptops with cellular wifi cards. I'm more than used to folks working in coffee shops, even bars from time to time. But let's face it folks, there's a bright and shiny world out there beyond the comforting glow of your monitor. It's not just the bus, it seems like everywhere I look, someone else is on a laptop somewhere. I see them when I walk around on my lunch break (granted, I work in the tech-laden neighborhood known as media gulch), I see them all over both airports and airplanes alike, but there's one place that I can't help but gawk: I have started seeing more bums with laptops.

Now here's the thing: I know it's not their fault. Even knowing that something is stolen, they're not exactly going to turn it down. I suppose I should be happy that the residents of my fair city aren't willing to buy clearly stolen goods. Still, I can't help but shake my head every time I see some dude pushing a cart or set up with a mess of sleeping bags in a doorway poking away at a laptop that's almost as nice as mine. Welcome to the 21st century. Next thing I know that crazy lady with all the cats will be asking me if I know about any good new apps for her iPhone that she can use for "whatever her that insane stammering, gesturing, and yelling was".

This isn't the guy I see around, but I'd be more than willing to lay a solid bet that this picture below was taken in San Francisco.

Commitment to Shoddy Materials

This is my busted-ass DVD player remote control. If you look closely, you will notice that it is held together by tape where it is coming apart at the corner. Let me explain to you why this pathetic gathering of plastic, PCB, rubber buttons, and batteries is coming apart at the corner like a cheap suit.

First, let me explain one little thing - this DVD player is cheap. Like cheap cheap. Target no-name brand thirty dollar DVD player. But I tell ya what - it plays almost every DVD I can throw at it, even the Canadian DVD of Down By Law that I can't even get to play in a number of more high-end players. I know I could easily just get another one, but dammit, the DVD player still works fine, it's just the remote that has issues.

See, like the dumbass I am, I was neglectful of this poor remote when it was not in use, so I had a little battery explosion issue, which I only found out about when I went to re-commission this little fella. In the process of acidic erosion, one of the tabs that connects the battery was rotted through. Undeterred, I did what I do best - I popped it open and re-soldered the little tab back into the PCB board. Granted, part of the tab had broken off, but it seemed to be making due.

So probably six months after the initial repair, I began having issues again. Of course, again, within a few days, I have the remote in pieces and I'm poking around. I checked the previously offending tab and, much to my surprise, it seems solid and intact. I check around a little bit more, and lo and behold, there's a crazy little capacitor hanging loose at one end. Being the clever, resourceful, and intelligent guy that I am, I get another bit of wire, and spliced it with the wire on the capacitor, then soldered the whole mess together.

So after probably six weeks or so of quality remoting, it got finicky again. This time there was no intermittent "gee this isn't working right" period - it just flat died. Guess what? The battery tab came loose. This time, things called for a bit more drastic action. In straight-up MacGuyver style, I soldered a length of wire onto the offending battery tab, ran the wire through the hole in the PCB, soldered that beast in there, and cut the excess wire off the opposite side. Unfortunately, I had to give a little extra length on the other side, which led to the lack of sufficient closure on the casing. Solution? Clear packing tape. So now I officially have a sufficiently ghetto remote for my cheapo DVD player.

Why do I do this? Honestly, in part, because it's fun. Plus it makes me all manly and alluring because I can fix shit. Plus, there's a little part of me who really gets a kick out of the fact that I can mend things with extreme heat and molten metal. In my land, soldering is kind of like sewing for men - it's a domestic talent that most everyone should at least have a basic handle on.

Maybe I do have a bit of my dad in me after all...