Type cO-dependent Negative

Today I went to donate blood. I haven't done it in a little while, and I always feel good to do a little something from time to time to make the world a better place. So I walk in as usual, fill out my form proving that I'm neither a drug addict nor a man-whore, and I go to the seating area to wait for my name to be called for the little interview process. I'm greeted by a somewhat odd sight: there's a guy there in a t-shirt and jeans (which is common) with his girlfriend, who is in a little black dress and heels. This is odd enough in and of itself, however, they are all over each other. It's absurd. They're holding hands, they've got their heads up against each other, they're sporadically making out when the mood so strikes them. I am used to seeing way too much PDA all over the place, but the blood bank? Seriously? So he gets called in for his interview, and the girl tries to follow him into the little interview room. She gets turned away (hence "confidential" interview). She goes to the cantina for a cup of coffee, and by the time I get out of my interview, she is standing there, staring at her dude in the chair giving blood. I mean, she isn't moving, she isn't looking around or anything like that, she is just frozen in space and time, gazing longingly as liveblood is slowly removed at a safe pace.

I am a little weirded out by this whole thing as I settle into my chair/bed slot and the nurse begins taking my blood. Not three minutes pass and a guy walks in to the blood-donation area... followed by his girlfriend!! She (like the other girl) tries to follow him up to the table, only to be (like the other girl) turned away at the entrance. So what does she do? She sits on her knees at the partition and rests her chin on it so she can watch him the whole time he's donating blood. Like a sad puppy looking out a window waiting for its owner to come home, she's sitting there watching him longingly, as if she may never see him again. Then, at the cantina after he's done, she's sitting practically on his lap, stroking his hair, rubbing his back, and talking about how brave and strong he was. It was a fucking voluntary blood donation! It's not like dude made it out of surgery okay, or ran across a minefield to donate blood. He came in, got it over with in about fifteen minutes, and got a friggin donut when he was done.

The first couple I can kind of wrte it off - they were probably both under 21, so they can still have that cute "kid love" where your whole being hinges on never letting your significant other out of your site, but the second people were old. Dude had grey hair. There is absolutely no fucking reason for this sad puppy dog kind of affection for people like that. See, I've gone with a friend to give blood before, it's fun. It gives you someone to make small talk with, but that person was also donating. I've never seen people bring their significant others to the blood bank like it's some sort of breezy Saturday afternoon date or something. Or at least if they have, the people had the goddamn sense of self that they could sit alone for ten minutes while their dear sweet lover sits a whopping thirty feet away from them.

So, in about 3-4 months when I can donate again, does any fair maiden out there want to come dote over me while I donate blood? I'll let you give me a shoulder massage, and maybe even call me something adorable like "sugarbear" or "Beefy McSexpot" - if interested, you know how to get a hold of me...