Bill's Triumphant Return to Bloggery

Greetings once again good readers. It's great to be back at long last. This means one thing: I've finished my thesis. It's pretty friggin' exciting, I'm not going to lie. So this means that I will have more time in the evenings and whatnot to really focus on the blog again. I am cooking up a little plan to post a new entry every day for the whole month of June because, well, it's the middle of May already, and I know I'm not going to be doing a ton of blogging next weekend with graduation festivities and all that.

Unfortunately that's about all the news that's fit to print at the moment. I have been so wrapped up in my thesis, I haven't hardly had a moment to think about the random stuff that makes its way into my blog postings or to interact with the weirdos who prompt some of my more memorable writing. But fear not, tomorrow I'll be out and about throughout the day, and I'm sure I'll have some experience with some crazies out there that will send me running home to my laptop.

Actually there is one thing. I have been home the last two afternoons because I've been running around like a madman at State during hours I'd usually work, and I've noticed that now more than ever there are a lot of what I call "loser commercials" on afternoon TV. They all have the same message "Hey, I was once a loser like you, but I called the number on the screen, and now I'm not. I may be a loser, but hey, I have a job and you don't. So call this number, loser."


It's sad. I actually remember the days when my employment was a tad more... scant, and these commercials bothered the hell out of me, and now it's gotten more desperate. Now instead of "I have a kid but I still did it." It's turned into "I have four kids, two of whom need highly specialized medical care that my deadbeat baby-daddy ran away from, but I had time to pick up this phone and call, so now that I work in a pharmacy I can steal my child's meds and they pay me at the same time, so I can put food on my table and still have enough for the french manicure you see from when I picked up the phone when I was pretending to be destitute.

So the next time you have an afternoon off, watch a major network at around 1:00 or 2:00, and you'll see all the commercials I'm talking about. And if you need to, call the number, because they'll help you be not a loser or a deadbeat, but it all starts with a phone call, deadbeat.