Button it Up

Yes. I know I haven't written in over a week. I'm lame and terrible and am breaking the cardinal rule of blogging, that whole thing about how if you don't write frequently enough people will stop paying attention and reading and all that. Then again, that might be why my technorati rank is 1,603,173. Oh well.

So, a while back, I bought some new jeans. I heard that Gap was doing that big ol' campaign about their new jeans, and when they released them, they had all sorts of kick ass sales. I decided to take advantage (due in part to the fact that my jeans are getting sorrier by the week) and I finally got around to wearing one of the new pairs recently. I like the look, I like the style, and all that jazz. I feel like it was money well spent and all those other frugal platitudes.

But here's the thing. The damn jeans have a button fly.

I don't know who invented the button fly. Secretly I blame the Amish. But then again, I totally can. This is the internet. Lord knows the amish aren't online. I don't even know if they can, in accordance with their culture, read things that have been printed off the internet. Interesting question. If you have the answer, let me know.

But anyways, back to the fly. Button flies are awful. While they're buttoned, it's not all that bad. But gawddamn, god forbid I really have to pee. It's so awkward and difficult. Needlessly so. I swear, it's like having a corset for your junk - you're all bound in there and it takes a degree of skill, dexterity, and coordination in order to get out of there. I just don't get it. Well, I guess the bright side is that, after all that ordeal, I don't have to worry about walking out of the bathroom with my fly down. Well, I guess there was that time the other night where I skipped a button. That was... an interesting sensation.