So Bill, Why Are You Looking So Confident Today?

No kids, it's not my masculine scent. It isn't the fact that I know I brushed my teeth extra well this morning. Nope, it's not even that the rash finally cleared up (I kid, I kid, relax). No kids, that devil-may-care, mothers-lock-up-your-daughters look can only be brought about by one thing: new underpants. That's right kids, good ol' Bill was just gifted a fresh pair of undies, and I couldn't possibly be any happier. Let me also tell you, that this is no ordinary pair of underpants, kids, this is a pair of special travelpants.

Inspired by the Rumdum Las Vegas "One Suit, One Weekend" trip that was such a resounding success, my wonderful friends the Desimone sisters decided to get me a gift that would take the whole thing one step further: one suit, one weekend, two pairs of underpants. See, these babies are not just lightweight and moisture-wicking, they are insta-dry, and they are meant specifically to be worn, washed, wrung out, and worn again. As the instructions on the packaging told me: "wash them, wrap them up like a burrito, stomp on them to dry them, and enjoy." While I have been washing them in the traditional way (you know, that modern marvel we call a washing machine). Still, the fact that I could essentially wet myself, run to the bathroom, wash up in the sink, and be almost ready to go in no time. I'm not saying I would consider wetting myself, least of all intentionally, but still, I sleep a little more soundly know that if I so desired, I could, and in the end, isn't that what really matters?

But I digress. Anyhow, new underpants. Good stuff. It makes me happy, they fit like a glove, and they keep me comfortably dry.

PS - yes, those are the underpants I have, but no, it's not my junk.