That 'burns.

Damn, Kat Dennings. I thought we had something. I think you're one of those fun cute, quirky actresses. I am even moderately amused by your love for all things hamsters and other quirks. I'm willing to overlook the "I don't really drink" thing, and a handful of other eccentricities that come with fame and stardom and all that.

But then, on an otherwise fine and dandy kind of a day, I fire up the ol' Twitter machine, and what do I read?

This tripe.

Yeah, for serious.

What the hell? Sideburns? You're going to take issue with sideburns? Think about how many great and handsome fellas had sideburns: Elvis, James Dean, Don Mattingly, Dylan McKay, Justin Pierre, Morrissey, Chester A. Arthur, and yours truly just to name a few. I mean, with the exception of me, those are all pretty good lookin' fellas, all of whom have their distinctive facial features enhanced by sideburns.

Apparently, I was no the only person out there who read that and was somewhat up in arms about this whole sideburns-gate issue that arose on the Twitters. The uproar was so large that good ol' Kat had to post this follow-up, to which I say "Feh. I wouldn't want to be kissin' on anyone who didn't like sideburns anyhow. No matter how much of a tiny celeb crush I may have once harbored, it's gone now." Next thing I know she'll be bashing on bass guitars, Kerouac, black hoodies, and Wes Anderson films while she's at it.

So I say to all of you out there, grow your sideburns, rock those mutton-chops, and just dig into whatever kinds of facial hair accent you feel is right. The Sideburned Human League is there to get your back, no matter what celebrities might say about them!