Sweet Solitude

This is going to be another one of those posts where I tiptoe around a question because blogging is often a way for me to figure things out. I try not to do these too often, or if I do, I at least try to keep them lighthearted or quirky enough to make them a fun read. Tonight, however, I really feel the need to throw some words up on this page and hopefully some of you read it, and even more hopefully, some of you have an opinion or a take on the whole situation (not necessarily specific to me, just in general).

See, I'm currently reading this book called "Generation Me" which is all about the emerging trend of bolstering self-confidence and entitlement over everything else, and how it is actually making the people it is supposed to be helping miserable by setting up false assurances. Thus far (I'm only about a third of the way through the book) it seems to be very convincing and well thought out, and I'd recommend it to most anyone in my generation. But I'm not here to write a book review, rather, there was one line that really struck a chord with me:

There's also the obvious danger of getting too accustomed to being on your own. If you learn to love yourself and your solitude, it will be a lot harder to adjust once you do find someone to share your life with.

A grim look into my future?

Thing is, for those of you who know me, I haven't had a real serious relationship for some years now, and while yes, there are all sorts of times that I think "I'm a little lonely" or "I don't like being the one single person in the room" there are also hundreds of times where I appreciate being single and only having to account for myself. But my question is this: is that such a bad thing? Is it really detrimental to be happy by yourself? Are we still resorting to judging your happiness and or the fullness of your life by romantic relationships? What happened to self-acceptance and contentment with yourself? What happened to independence? How about friends and family? I got that up the wazoo. I have two excellent roommates, about a sum total of eight bandmates, all of whom I love like brothers. Does this still make me a risk of having difficulty adjusting my lifestyle when I get in a relationship?

My main gripe is that the author is sub-textually inferring that you need to compromise your lifestyle in order to be in a relationship. She implies, rather indirectly, that you need to concede parts of your life you might enjoy in order to build a relationship, which I think is dangerous. Yes, I know a lot of people who absolutely need someone else in their life, and being the singleton that I am, I sometimes have trouble wrapping my head around that, but am I hopeless because I still want to spend time with my friends or my bands when I date someone?

Yes, I know compromises or concessions are made, but that is something we all do in every relationship, don't we? Don't most of us also crave some amount of space from time to time? I love hanging out with my roommates, of course, but I also love nights like this where I can close my door, put on my headphones, and feel like I'm in a house by myself. Does that make me crazy? Am I just a loner? Have I already fallen so deep into this "love yourself and your solitude" mindset that I am jinxing the possibility of meeting someone?

Bah, there I go with all the questions. That's always a good time to stop. Still, if you have any insight, feel free to comment here, call or text if you know how to get a hold of me, or shoot me an email (again, if you have the necessary info). In the meantime, I'm just going to sit here in my bedroom and love my solitude.