Complacency

Wow. This is kind of sad. I can't believe I haven't written a blog post in like 75 days. That's borderline unfathomable. But I was thinking about this the other day, and I realized that I've just kind of settled into life recently, and I can't say that I've been that content with it. Yes, I see my friends a lot, yes I go out, and I've even been working the last month, so that has taken up a reasonable amount of time. Still, other than that, I realize that a lot of my time has been spent just killing time. Yes, it's fun to watch TV or fart around on the internet, and it can be really, really fun to play video games. A lot. But still, when you're doing all that, you're not doing things to improve yourself or your situation, and in that way, I feel like August in particular was kind of like quicksand. I haven't read enough recently, I haven't blogged, I haven't been actively pursuing finding new full-time work. I've been kind of a bum.

Yes, it's been nice, but looking back now, I really do have to ask myself: what have I been on vacation from? I began the official "unemployed" status way back at the end of May, and the final few weeks at the job were mostly a matter of me showing up and keeping my seat warm and keeping my computer from going into standby mode - I'm not saying I tanked the job, or that I was slacking off, it's just that more and more tasks that used to keep me busy at work were being moved to other people. So it's not like I was burned out from being so taxed at the workplace. Yes, I was mentally burned out by being stuck in a job that I fully realized wasn't interested in keeping me around, but that was about it.

So, my freelance job officially ended yesterday (due primarily to the possibility of new full-time employment, but more on that as it develops) and I am trying to mentally challenge myself (and aid that fact by stating it on the internet) that I want to get back in the swing of things. I want to go to the coffee shop and read. I want to write more music. I want to look for a job that will not only support the true Bill lifestyle, but will excite me enough to convince me that I will actually be there for more than a year or two until I figure out what I really, really want to do.

So, the next time you see me, or talk to me, or email me, give me some shit. Ask me what I'm reading, and what I read before that. Check my GoodReads account to see how often I start a new book. Check and see if I'm working on some new songs for the band. Ask me how the job hunt is going. Pull the Stewie Griffin and ask how the novel is coming (it isn't right now, so don't get all worked up). I may sigh, I may look all sad if things aren't going according to plan, but dammit, that's how I stay on task. That and making lists. Lots of lists. So I hope not to be complacent; not to sit around playing XBox or scratching myself, or whatever it is I do when I'm doing absolutely nothing, and I'm asking all of you who read this to help keep me good to my word. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a comic book to read.