If You Didn't Blog It...

Hey all, I'm back yet again. It's been too long yet again. Let's move forward from there. Recently I read a rather fascinating blog written by Anil Dash, who is kind of famous to a lot of us interwebby folks. In it he claims "If You Didn't Blog It, It Didn't Happen", and that title alone really got me thinking; I have been so lax in my blogging in the past year or so. I often attribute it to being busy or just plain not having much in life to blog about. Plus, I figure a lot of the folks who read this probably either check my Twitter or Facebook or Foursquare or something to that effect, or else you just see me in real life. But that's not blogging. That's "having a blog that stagnates while you don't write on it." Still, I have to constantly remind myself that pithy quips or check-ins at local drinking establishments does not online content make. (well, it kind of does, but it ain't great reading) I have prized myself for quite some time now on my ability as a wordsmith; I like to think that I have a certain pizzaz when it comes to writing interesting stuff that most of the general public, or more importantly you folks who read this blog, find both readable and enjoyable. Yes, I get a bit verbose at times, and I also have a rather undesirable habit of dropping a few f-bombs here and there when I get worked up, but all in all, I like to think I spin a good yarn about whatever it is I happen to be writing about.

So, let's get this train back on the tracks and steaming towards something fun and interesting for both myself and for you. The biggest news that has transpired since I last sat in front of this composition window is that I will soon be re-locating from my beloved basement hovel to a posh (posh for yours truly at least) and swanky new bachelor pad by the beach. I am finally laying down stakes (rented stakes at that) in the Outer Sunset. The good news is that I will be a mere five or six blocks from my beloved coffee shop, rather than like two miles, so I should be back on my home turf for classic blogging. The down side, if any, is that I will be sharing this swank bachelor pad with two of my good friends. That will be an ongoing adventure which shall unfold and I'm sure much of it will end up on this fine blog.

On a somewhat more philosophical note, I had a fascinating discussion with a friend tonight about happiness, and more importantly, my own personal happiness. Those of you who know me or have met me all would consider me a fairly happy-go-lucky guy, and you would be absolutely right. By and large I am a very upbeat and cheery gent. Still, overall, I tend to find myself being dissatisfied with various aspects of my life, whether it be the basement hovel, the lack of a sweet young thing to call my own, or the current lack of gainful employ. None of them completely set the ship off course, but overall, and when added together, they can cause for the occasional rough patch in what is usually a pretty smooth sail. I had to admit that the last time I felt completely satisfied with my life, and felt like everything was really coming up Bill was back at the tender age of seventeen or thereabouts. I was finishing up high school, doing well in classes, enjoying playing music as well as playing sports, and I had a fantastic group of friends as well as the general good wishes of most all of my classmates. In other words, I had the world by the balls and the future looked bright and sunny for me. Since then, I can't say that anything major has changed. I am blessed to be healthy still, I still pride myself on the wonderful friends I am surrounded with day in and day out, I still get to play music that makes me feel invincible. None of these things have gone unrealized or unnoticed. Still, there are a lot of nagging thoughts about potential realized and all that jazz. Maybe I was just brought up in a nature of a lot of positive support or something, but I felt (and still feel) that there's something great that I'm meant to do, and I feel like I've spent a number of years searching to find that thing. I have to remain optimistic that it is still possible, but in the meantime I need to also think about paying bills and all that fun stuff.

Plus, the more I thought about this question, I began to realize the other, perhaps more positive, interpretation of why I am seldom completely happy and content: I love challenging myself to live up to my expectations. Yeah, I beat myself up at times or get down on myself when things don't go my way, but by constantly challenging myself do to something bigger or better with my life, I can make sure that I don't get caught up in the day-to-day mundanity that people sometimes get stuck in. Clearly I'm not knocking a regular 9-5. If someone offered me something that would pay the bills that I found even moderately interesting, I'd swoop it up in a heartbeat. But I think a little dissatisfaction goes a long way in challenging yourself to be better at whatever it is you do, whether it's work or school or music or writing or anything else.

I don't really know where I was going with all this, and it's late, so I'm sure I'll re-read this when I wake up in the morning (afternoon) and scratch my head and wonder what in the hell got in to me, but it was somewhat cathartic to get all this out. Sorry if I've rambled a bit, but the mere act of sitting here and writing has been wonderful. Hopefully this is a harbinger of things to come, and I get back on the ol' blogging pony on the regular.