Hardy har har.

So, FoxSports.com, how does it feel to come in second? Alas, you poor saps are hopping on the train just a tad late. You're like those poor kids who arrive at the party immediately after everyone says they're "over it" and begin to pack up with the hopes of making it to a liquor store before closing.

Why do I gloat so?

This is why.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta. And a connoisseur of fine facial hair.

A few things.

So it's July, which means it's thesis time for me. Alas, my summer is (kind of) over just as soon as it began. In some ways, it will even be good to have a little academic discipline to give some direction to the listing ship that is my brainpower this summer. Then again, there's a chance (Hector, if you're reading this, this is my not-so-subtle hint) that I may even be employed in a few weeks. But we'll see about that.

In the meantime, I want to give everyone a little recommendation -- watch Clone High. It was on MTV for a very brief season, maybe thirteen episodes, and never seen again. I take a little time here and there to spend a day or so watching it all, and I tell you, I'm never let down. A lot of the show is up on YouTube if you want to take a little time out of your "busier than mine" days and check a little bit. I hope you enjoy it even a fraction as much as I do. If you do, those crazy Canadians released it on DVD through one of their networks, and you can pick it up on Amazon for cheap.

Finally, the burning question that arose from a phone conversation with Courtney tonight. We Californians have a rich and exciting history. In part, that is why it makes sense to spend the duration of fourth grade studying California History. For you proud graduates of the California State University system, you also know that there is a California History component that has to be satisfied in order to get your diploma. So here's the burning question that gave rise to much debate: do all states study their own history so vigorously? For instance, my sister's fella is from New Hampshire. Is there enough NH history to account for an entire year of grade school history? What about Kansas? Besides the band that brought you "Carry On My Wayward Son", is there much to know about Kansas?

Smirk.

I'm trying here folks, I'm really trying. I do my best to be tight-lipped about academic stuff. I fully realize that everyone has their own learning curve and their own level of comfort when it comes to learning, or more specifically, reading. I know I have moments of weakness, but I try to not let my scholastic and literary snobbishness get in the way, and I'd like to believe that I do a pretty okay job at it most of the time.

Tonight, I just have to let a little bit out.

As usual, I was at the coffee shop. I am currently reading a book (borrowed from my buddy Nate) called The Dumbest Generation. I won't necessarily recommend it unless you have particular interest in media studies, teaching, or literacy, as it is really the equivalent of a doctoral thesis written on those topics by a college professor. (Complete with 20+ page bibliography...) Still, it's a compelling read on how perceptions of this generation, who finally has been given a legit label "Generation DotNet". I like it. Anyhow, it discusses the perceptions of the involvement of the computer and media in our lives and if we (I'm talking basically people who are thirty and younger) are indeed as dumb as people make us out to be. The jury is still out on the answer to that theory, but right now, it doesn't look especially promising.

So, with that in mind, I sat near a trio of folks probably in their laaaate teens or early early twenties tonight as I was reading. There were two females and their exceptionally gay male friend (not that there's anything wrong with that). They sat around the entire two hours or so that I was there and were generally very well contained, but then again, I did have my headphones on. At one point, they struck up a conversation with another woman in the cafe who was wearing a polo shirt from a local high school. I won't name it, but for you San Franciscans, it's a Jesuit school located in the Sunset district. For you non-San Franciscans, it's a VERY expensive private Catholic school known for its over-achieving preppy grads (and for keggers in a local park almost every Friday night).

So I'm sitting there reading about how the new generation hates reading (I find it ironic that I'm sitting there, a Lit master's student, trying to take serious a guy who is claiming that my generation couldn't give a damn about physical books or actually reading) and how multi-task reading via the internet is the wave of the future. As I'm reading this, I'm getting a tad indignant because, with the exception of a very select few people in my life (most of whom are blood relatives), I am surrounded by readers. Even friends who had nothing at all to do with literature in their studies are still avid pleasure readers. But I digress...

So as I'm packing up, I was inspired to hear the aforementioned trio discussing reading. I was even surprised to hear some major works get thrown around, like Lolita. Then all faith was lost. The one girl said "You know what book I've always felt like I should read? Don Quixote. It's supposed to be like, great and all, but really, I mean, come on - have you seen that book? It's like, I don't know, a thousand pages or something. Who has ever read a book that long? Who would want to? That would be like, torture to me. I guess I could maybe get it on audio book, but still, do I have like five hours to hear some person sit around and read a book to me? No. Oh well, I guess I can just read the synopsis on Wikipedia or something."

Ouch.

I appreciate that she has the curiosity to want to know more about the book, and I know that for some people a thousand page book can be a grueling endeavor. That's not quite the issue I take, though I did smirk a bit. But really... wikipedia? Really?? It's great for pop culture stuff. It's an easy way to get a lot of simple information and facts. But reading a summary on a book instead of even getting the audio book? This from a kid whose parents spent somewhere between forty and fifty thousand dollars to put their child through high school so she can get into her choice of the nation's most expensive universities. Now I've never read Don Quixote myself. Perhaps one day. But until that day come, you can bet for damn sure that I'll never go to Wikipedia to read a summary with the hopes that I can bring up some minor plot line in class or anything like that.


One final gripe, completely unrelated to all this. Fuck you, California legislature, for this hands-free law. You've managed to successfully turn me into something I hate - a weirdo with a bluetooth earpiece. See, my phone pretty much sucks monkey nuts, and I hope not to have it much longer, so I decided that rather than dropping like twenty or thirty bucks on a hands-free apparatus that I will disregard when I get rid of my sad excuse for a cell phone, I would shell out forty-something dollars and get a hands-free headset I can use with any phone I happen to next buy. That doesn't make it any easier to strap on that little blue-blinking doo dad to my ear.

Ugh.

So I'm a little under the weather and a little exhausted, so I don't have much to offer tonight. My sinuses feel like they're going to burst at any moment.

So I'll leave you with one amusing anecdote before the day's end. This evening I was out at a bar (surprise surprise) and at one point needed to run to the restroom. Like many bars, the men's and women's rooms were right next to each other, and (again) like many bars, the men's room did not have a reliable lock. Let me first explain this to many female readers: bar men's rooms are notorious for not having a lock that will sufficiently keep the door closed, however, as men, we are usually standing up to pee in there, which in many of these bathrooms means we are facing away from the door. It still makes for some awkwardness, but as long as the back remains to the door, you're usually fine. I don't know why most bars don't at least invest in something as simple as a sliding bolt lock or a simple hook and eyelet system, but that's another issue...

Back to my story. I proceed to the men's room, open the first of two doors (why a bathroom needs a breezeway is beyond my ken), reach for the second, give the knob a tug (not even turn, mind you) and open the door. What do I see? A woman standing up from the toilet. Yes, it's pride weekend, so the prospect of a "woman" in a bathroom is slightly more likely, but still, this was an honest-to-goodness woman or the most amazingly convincing tranny I've ever seen. I quickly let the door go, mumble some inane "Zuh, uh, sorry, um, I don't, uh, sorry." and hop back to the safety of two doors' worth of removal. A few short moments later, she comes out and apologizes to me, explaining that she didn't realize she was in the men's room.

Here's my question: how does this happen so often, especially at bars? I have seen a number of women accidentally go into a men's stall. Do you not realize there are two? Do you not read the door? Are you really that drunk? I mean, I've had times when I've gone to a women's room, but I was fully cognizant of my actions, since there was no one in there, a lock on the door, and someone occupying the men's room for a bit too long. Are these ladies just not detail-oriented people, or does the promise of the awaiting porcelain just get too much and they run into the first door they are able to find that yields successful results?

All I'm gonna say is thank heavens I'm not one of those weirdos who unzips and is halfway ready by the time they cross the threshold of the bathroom, or we both would have had some explaining and apologizing to do.

Hotties.

First and foremost - happy birthday, Pete! And sure, if you want to go there, we can call Pete a hottie.

But what I'm really writing about tonight is a discussion that was kicked around a bit this evening at a little birthday get-together held in my buddy Pete's honor. Somehow discussion of reality shows and whatnot came about, and there was discussion of not only bachelor/bachelorette programming, but also "The Girls Next Door" which, from the little I've seen or heard of it, has to do with floozies milking Hugh Hefner for as much as they can all the while behaving like vapid airheads.

In the course of this conversation, statements were made about how all males, if they were given the option, would opt for a model/centerfold type beauty. Granted, this is strictly in a vacuum, so finances, personal interests, and the man's looks are not a factor. Still, I can't help but disagree. Yes, it's almost impossible to discount personality and all that jazz, but I still don't know that if I found a stone cold fox who loved the same music I did, was a die-hard A's fan, and had an apartment that I could live in for free that I'd necessarily choose her over an "unconventionally attractive" girl who could offer the same things, but chose chunky glasses and Chuck Taylors over Louis Vutton and some Manolo Blahniks.

That probably comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me. Anyone who has spent significant time out with me, especially at bars, ESPECIALLY at bars in the Mission, all know my "type", but here's the thing that makes me very curious: can you separate someone's overall look from how you categorize them? Or, in the end, do the clothes really "make the man"? If, starting tomorrow, I moussed up my hair, bought all designer jeans, got a spray-on tan, and wore unscuffed white tennis shoes, but still played in the same bands and read the same books, would people still think the same of me? Granted, I'd see myself in the mirror and try to kick my own ass, but still. What about finding some cutie in a hoodie and skinny jeans that only wanted to talk about the last episode of Oprah or who the latest star created by American Idol?

Yes, these are extreme examples, but I hope if nothing else that this posting has made you think a moment or two about your aesthetic. In the end, what you like and what you are like tend to go hand-in-hand, but it's just something to be cognizant of when seeking out members of the opposite sex...

Video fun.

Just a few random things from the interweb that I thought you folks might enjoy. Some of you have probably seen some of these before, some of you might not have; either way, there's no substitute for when you're feeling a tad uncreative than to let other people do the creativity for you...

Bo Burnam - New Math. This kid is a genius, plain and simple. Watch all his videos and try not to laugh your ass off.


Continuing the moustache chatter, and reminding everyone that The Tick was one of the finest animated cartoons of the mid-to-late nineties:


"The Hipster Olympics" it's good, not necessarily great, but should provide a laugh or two:


Headlights - "Cherry Tulips" Not necessarily an amazing video, but a catchy song from a band that a LOT more people should know about.


Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - "Think I Wanna Die" This is just a ridiculously catchy song with a hilarious video from a band with a silly ass name.


The Decemberists - "Bandit Queen" This is one of those lesser known treasures that was recorded in the Picaresque recording session, but ended up coming out on the EP Picaresquities (tap dance solo and all)


And what would a video posting be without at least one We Are Scientists video?? Here's the vid for the new song "Chick Lit"


This is what I should do for a living...

Pop quiz.

Okay folks, since I spent quite a bit of the evening last night coming up with my facial hair extravaganza, tonight I will keep it simple. I have roughly one week ahead of me in which my work is going to be incredibly slow (slower than usual, which says a lot) and I will still be patiently waiting for July to begin working on my thesis stuff. Here is the crux of my situation: I'm low on cash, I can't comfortably sit around the house and read (the fam doesn't subscribe to the same love of reading that I have, so sitting and reading books for days would be "a waste of time" to those whom I share a home with), and I don't want to spend every waking minute in the coffee shop.

So what can a kid like myself do to kill time in a somewhat constructive way that will not only occupy my attention in my waking hours, but will also keep me out of the ever-vigilant eye of those who might try to rope me into doing "something constructive with my time like vacuuming or re-re-re-organizing things around the house." I hope to do some bike riding, but am at a bit of a loss for other time consuming, yet cost-effective ways to pass the time.

Whaddaya say?