As hard to find as...

Hey folks, so I have been working on a blog here at work, but I get a little frustrated from time to time when the mass appeal needed to be the voice of the company outweighs my personal creative endeavors.

For instance, I saw a pair of frilly pink high heels that look like they came just off the runway at the Lusty Lady for sale at one of our sellers when searching for shoe deals to recommend in our upcoming newsletter. I showed them to a co-worker and she commented that they seemed about right for a housewife to wear when watching her soap operas. I decided to write their new marketing slogan: "These shoes are the ideal footwear to accompany a plate of bonbons, your couch, and your ever-expanding ass." Guess I couldn't put that in the mass mailer....

Today I'm writing about the Nintendo Wii, and I was coming up with similes to explain how rare and hard to find these are. I had to reel it in just a little bit. Here are some of the ideas that I had to shoot down for myself:

The Nintendo Wii is as hard to find as...
- a sober Irishman.
- a minority in an Ivy League frat.
- a first date for me.
- a glass of whiskey at a Mormon wedding.
- tasteful porn.
- an emo kid in a white t-shirt.
- a anorexic at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
- "the real killer" in the OJ Simpson case.

Ah self-censorship. Thank heavens for this blog, offending people mercilessly since January.