Don't ever discuss the weather in public. It's just sad. Plus you run the risk of saying something dumb like "God, I'm so over the rain. It's been raining for like three straight days." Then I will publicly mock you in my blog. Yes, you So-Cal native girl outside the Cafe at State. Rain happens. And so does blog mockery.
I can understand discussing weather predictions, but never discuss the current state of weather. Granted, I'm the lame ass that would come up to a stranger and flirt by saying "hey, how's it going? It's raining, you know." So I'm really one to talk.
Dwelling on weather for just a moment... what the hell happened to El Niño? There's all this talk this year about "storm of the decade" and record rainfall and all that shit, but no one seems to be dropping that name like in the past. Fortunately, I have found that you can check the OFFICIAL El Niño day-to-day status right here:
http://www.cpc.ncep.noaa.gov/products/analysis_monitoring/enso_advisory/index.shtml
What can I say? It's more interesting than watching grass grow or tracking the terror alert color.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Musical head count
Okay, I've been spending far too much time talking about clothing so far. Quite honestly, I find it funny -- I spend few hours outside the occasional new t-shirt quest actually thinking about clothes, so why am I apparently somewhat obsessed with style this week?
While you ponder that question, let me bring something to your attention: bands these days have FAR too many members. While I love the fact that there are a bunch of great duos on the rise like Mates of State, The Raveonettes, and Matt & Kim, there are also a ton of bands with more people onstage than people who read this blog. For a good band, you need only three or four people. Generally speaking, one drummer, one bassist, and then any combination of guitar, keyboard, or vocals to round out the other one or two spots. I can kind of accept a five member band with four instrumentalists and a singer. Sort of. I have general issues with singers who only sing, but that's another entry for another day.
Now, before you go calling me a hypocrite, I'll say this much: new steps in indie music have made me change my tune a bit. Bands like The Decemberists and Arcade Fire, and even my buddy Alex's band Or, the Whale all have like seven people playing onstage at any given time, but dammit, they put it to good use. There are violinists, horn players, slide guitarists; all sorts of semi-obscure instruments are coming into vogue. Hell, do you realize how many great indie musicians have glockenspiel players onstage with them or on their albums?!?!? It's absurd (yet awesome).
So here's my issue: bands that have like four guitarists. For cool counterpoint, you just need two guitarists. Look at Archers of Loaf: they have some of the coolest guitar interplay I've ever heard. Two guys. But no; nowadays, bands have all these assbags holding guitars, and like three of the four are ALL playing the same fucking chord. Oooh - one guy is playing it clean, while the other guitarist has distortion. This is not cool, it's not innovative, and it's barely even musical. So here's my unsolicited advice to all folks thinking about forming a band: keep it small. If you have a keyboardist (a real one, at least) they have two hands: they can do melodic counterpoint to THEMSELVES. This frees the guitarist to play chords. If you have two guitarists, you can play things together, or do the traditionalist rhythm/lead dichotomy. That's all you need, given both players actually know how to play.
Stop the insanity. Unless you're amazing like Satan's Pilgrims, you don't need three guitarists. Plus, remember this: they're an instrumental band, it's like having two guitarists in a vocal band with the third guitarist (who also doubles on Farfisa, might I add) playing the role of vocalist in the song structure.
While you ponder that question, let me bring something to your attention: bands these days have FAR too many members. While I love the fact that there are a bunch of great duos on the rise like Mates of State, The Raveonettes, and Matt & Kim, there are also a ton of bands with more people onstage than people who read this blog. For a good band, you need only three or four people. Generally speaking, one drummer, one bassist, and then any combination of guitar, keyboard, or vocals to round out the other one or two spots. I can kind of accept a five member band with four instrumentalists and a singer. Sort of. I have general issues with singers who only sing, but that's another entry for another day.
Now, before you go calling me a hypocrite, I'll say this much: new steps in indie music have made me change my tune a bit. Bands like The Decemberists and Arcade Fire, and even my buddy Alex's band Or, the Whale all have like seven people playing onstage at any given time, but dammit, they put it to good use. There are violinists, horn players, slide guitarists; all sorts of semi-obscure instruments are coming into vogue. Hell, do you realize how many great indie musicians have glockenspiel players onstage with them or on their albums?!?!? It's absurd (yet awesome).
So here's my issue: bands that have like four guitarists. For cool counterpoint, you just need two guitarists. Look at Archers of Loaf: they have some of the coolest guitar interplay I've ever heard. Two guys. But no; nowadays, bands have all these assbags holding guitars, and like three of the four are ALL playing the same fucking chord. Oooh - one guy is playing it clean, while the other guitarist has distortion. This is not cool, it's not innovative, and it's barely even musical. So here's my unsolicited advice to all folks thinking about forming a band: keep it small. If you have a keyboardist (a real one, at least) they have two hands: they can do melodic counterpoint to THEMSELVES. This frees the guitarist to play chords. If you have two guitarists, you can play things together, or do the traditionalist rhythm/lead dichotomy. That's all you need, given both players actually know how to play.
Stop the insanity. Unless you're amazing like Satan's Pilgrims, you don't need three guitarists. Plus, remember this: they're an instrumental band, it's like having two guitarists in a vocal band with the third guitarist (who also doubles on Farfisa, might I add) playing the role of vocalist in the song structure.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
You look like a vagrant
Not any of you, dear readers. Actually, at the moment I'm thinking of a chap I saw at the coffee shop tonight. He was wearing, and I cannot make this up: a blue t-shirt, a blue blazer, green and blue plaid pajama pants, and flip-flops. Well-groomed or not, this particular outfit broadcasts to the world "I could give a shit about how I look. I officially give up."
This got me thinking, and I have come to a few realizations about what can and cannot be worn in public. Women have a whole different set of rules because, hell, they're attractive. They can wear sack-cloth if they choose and still find guys (like me, for instance) who still think they look pretty damn good. So here are a few rules for guys, if you are going out in public. Doesn't matter if it's just to get coffee, to get a newspaper, or just to get something out of your car.
Rule #1: Wear real pants. I know that, especially in our society, comfort is everything. Sweats, pajama pants, and basketball shorts are all lovely and feel great. You can let your stomach hang out if it's there. You can take them off without doing anything other than maybe untying a piece of string. You can enjoy the freedom of the crotch only enjoyed by loose cotton garments. But there's one little problem - you look like a fucking tool. Please, PLEASE don't confound matters by wearing something respectable (leather jacket, blazer, or anything of the like) on top.
Rule #2: Wear real shoes. Yes, you beach bums love your flip-flops. Yes you hippies love your Birkenstocks or bare dirty feet. There are even guys out there who wear those Uggs that look a HELL of a lot like slippers. Apparently all of you have forgotten one key fact: men, as a whole, have HORRID feet. Either you've got the nasty hobbit look going on, or you have pale and weird-looking feet. Chances are if you wear sandals often, either you get a pedicure or else you have hideous callouses and all that. Cover them shits up. For the good of everyone. This does not mean, however, that it is EVER okay to wear socks with sandals. Ever.
Rule #3: Inspect your clothes for holes often. Yes, even those ever-so-cool jeans that look like they've been run over by a truck right off the rack, those have to go. For women it's sexy to have little sneak peeks of skin here and there. For men, it looks like you can't afford real clothes. Shirts shouldn't even have to be mentioned, but hey, it happens too. If you can see sunlight through your clothing, it's time to let it go.
Rule #4: Pull your goddamn pants up. Most of us know where our waists are. We have belts to keep our pants in this general vicinity. Yes, I flash a little butt crack from time to time, but on the whole, I keep everything covered. I can appreciate a little bit of sag - it can look natural, and is better than rocking a pair of nutters, but when you have three-plus inches of ANYTHING showing between waist and belt, you're just wrong.
Rule #5: Headgear is a privelidge, not a right. These are general rules that apply to all males above the age of 22: baseball hats should be worn forwards. No cocking off just so much to the side, no resting it waaay back like a hillbilly, and by all means, don't wear it backwards. For that matter, don't wear any hat backwards, ever. It was cool in high school, you can get away with it in college, but when you're complaining about your day at the office while rocking a backwards Sox hat, you just look dumb. Also, visors should NEVER be worn, unless maybe you're a Pro Beach Volleyball player. Even then, it's suspect. Buy yourself a decent fedora, a newsboy hat, or something original. Headbands may ONLY be worn when working out, and bandannas should never EVER be worn in public. They're great to keep hair off your face when you're working on something in the garage. Keep them there.
Just take a page out of the book of Bill: wear tees, hoodies, jeans or dickies, and tennis shoes or boots whenever you leave the house. You'll never find yourself being written about by me.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Bicycles
San Francisco is a bike town. Anyone who has driven down Valencia St. has inevitably had tons of hipster cyclists go whizzing past you as you drive. So here's my thing: I love bikes. I would love to bike on a regular basis. I think retro bikes look great, I think it's phenomenal exercise, and more often than not, hopping on a bike and tooling around town just seems like fun.
Here's my problem: my bike is old and broken down. The tires are flat, the brakes don't work, and I can't adjust the height of the seat at all. Hopefully, this can be fixed, but that takes (a) the initiative to bring my bike in to a reputable shop and more importantly (b) money. I have no clue what bike repairs cost. So what happens? I think about getting the work done and never do. Then I think about buying a new bike so I don't have the hassle. Then I realize I have a decent bike in my garage that just needs some TLC. It's a vicious cycle. (hardy har har) So we'll see how this story progresses. I mean, all of this goes along with the issue of the fact that I'm horridly out of shape these days (which motivates me to want to bike, and keeps me from it at the same time).
There is one thing, however, that drives me nuts about cyclists. As I stated earlier, SF is a bike town. However, despite all the bike lanes and critical mass and all that jazz, for some reason a small faction of asshole cyclists can't seem to figure out that, two wheels or four, all means of transport have to stop at red lights and stoplights. I get so damn paranoid when I go through intersections in bike-heavy neighborhoods because every time I do, some cyclist flys in front of or behind me against a red light. It's madness. Now I'm not saying if and when I fix up my bike and get out there I'll follow every traffic rule to a T, but I'm waaaay too cautious to do shit like that. So, my automotive friends, let's not forget our two-wheeled peddlers, and bicyclists, red means stop.
Here's my problem: my bike is old and broken down. The tires are flat, the brakes don't work, and I can't adjust the height of the seat at all. Hopefully, this can be fixed, but that takes (a) the initiative to bring my bike in to a reputable shop and more importantly (b) money. I have no clue what bike repairs cost. So what happens? I think about getting the work done and never do. Then I think about buying a new bike so I don't have the hassle. Then I realize I have a decent bike in my garage that just needs some TLC. It's a vicious cycle. (hardy har har) So we'll see how this story progresses. I mean, all of this goes along with the issue of the fact that I'm horridly out of shape these days (which motivates me to want to bike, and keeps me from it at the same time).
There is one thing, however, that drives me nuts about cyclists. As I stated earlier, SF is a bike town. However, despite all the bike lanes and critical mass and all that jazz, for some reason a small faction of asshole cyclists can't seem to figure out that, two wheels or four, all means of transport have to stop at red lights and stoplights. I get so damn paranoid when I go through intersections in bike-heavy neighborhoods because every time I do, some cyclist flys in front of or behind me against a red light. It's madness. Now I'm not saying if and when I fix up my bike and get out there I'll follow every traffic rule to a T, but I'm waaaay too cautious to do shit like that. So, my automotive friends, let's not forget our two-wheeled peddlers, and bicyclists, red means stop.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Fashion, plus a recommendation
I'm a basic guy. Anyone who has spent more than a month around me could easily be me for Halloween with a few simple ingredients: a black tee with clever logo, a black hoodie, jeans, and black Chucks.
With my lack of fashion variety or color, I must state a little bit of beef: the youth of today are killing shoes as we know them. Hell yes, when I was a kid, I wore red Chucks. I have no problem with pairing colored shoes with your silly outfits, all you ghetto kids. I'm sure you're very proud that you can find a pair of once-respectable shoes that have been designed to match that teal sweatshirt, belt, t-shirt, and baseball hat. What I do have a problem with is when you kids mess with my stuff. For instance, has anyone out there seen Chuck Taylors recently? Yeah, I can still get my black lo-tops almost anywhere. I don't like that prices have doubled in the last 10 years or so. What makes me sick are ALL these new Chucks everywhere. Plaid? Polka dot? Silly colors and designs? Fucking Chuck Taylors made of Astro-turf?!?!?! What the hell is going on? It used to be like this: American made Chucks, twenty bucks, in one of about six different colors: black, white, blue, forest green, red, and I think brown. THAT is what Converse used to be all about, back when only people who were "in the know" bought them, and if you wanted custom designs, you bought a Sharpie and went to town.
I won't even get into a number of other fashion crimes committed by those younger than me. I will even say that I think it was my generation that, in part, ruined Doc Martens. So there you have it.
On a more positive note, the whole "clever and silly t-shirt" era is kind of a mixed blessing for me. I dig them, I appreciate the clever, the artsy, and the hard-to-find tees. I take pride in the fact that I can list an obscure website where I found some cool tee that you don't have. I don't like the fact that I could probably spend multiple paychecks on getting the ones I like and still not have them all, but that's really my own issue. Here's the big problem: until I grow up and start wearing "real people clothes" I will be known as ironic t-shirt guy. It's not a bad thing, but it makes me feel like a cop-out when I wear a solid colored tee or a ringer or something like that. So, in the meantime, feel free to compliment me on my shirt. Ask me where I got it. HOWEVER, if I am wearing a plain-ass shirt, please don't say "Hey, where's the clever saying on that shirt?" or something else like that.
Oh, and if you want a GREAT indie rock album - go out and get "Boxer" by The National. It's worth every penny, and there's definitely a reason it's on every one's best of 2007 lists.
With my lack of fashion variety or color, I must state a little bit of beef: the youth of today are killing shoes as we know them. Hell yes, when I was a kid, I wore red Chucks. I have no problem with pairing colored shoes with your silly outfits, all you ghetto kids. I'm sure you're very proud that you can find a pair of once-respectable shoes that have been designed to match that teal sweatshirt, belt, t-shirt, and baseball hat. What I do have a problem with is when you kids mess with my stuff. For instance, has anyone out there seen Chuck Taylors recently? Yeah, I can still get my black lo-tops almost anywhere. I don't like that prices have doubled in the last 10 years or so. What makes me sick are ALL these new Chucks everywhere. Plaid? Polka dot? Silly colors and designs? Fucking Chuck Taylors made of Astro-turf?!?!?! What the hell is going on? It used to be like this: American made Chucks, twenty bucks, in one of about six different colors: black, white, blue, forest green, red, and I think brown. THAT is what Converse used to be all about, back when only people who were "in the know" bought them, and if you wanted custom designs, you bought a Sharpie and went to town.
I won't even get into a number of other fashion crimes committed by those younger than me. I will even say that I think it was my generation that, in part, ruined Doc Martens. So there you have it.
On a more positive note, the whole "clever and silly t-shirt" era is kind of a mixed blessing for me. I dig them, I appreciate the clever, the artsy, and the hard-to-find tees. I take pride in the fact that I can list an obscure website where I found some cool tee that you don't have. I don't like the fact that I could probably spend multiple paychecks on getting the ones I like and still not have them all, but that's really my own issue. Here's the big problem: until I grow up and start wearing "real people clothes" I will be known as ironic t-shirt guy. It's not a bad thing, but it makes me feel like a cop-out when I wear a solid colored tee or a ringer or something like that. So, in the meantime, feel free to compliment me on my shirt. Ask me where I got it. HOWEVER, if I am wearing a plain-ass shirt, please don't say "Hey, where's the clever saying on that shirt?" or something else like that.
Oh, and if you want a GREAT indie rock album - go out and get "Boxer" by The National. It's worth every penny, and there's definitely a reason it's on every one's best of 2007 lists.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
PDAs
As many of you out there know, I tend to frequent public places a lot. In these places, I seem to see a number of people
who are there with their significant other. Now; I'm all for loving the one you're with, and I believe in tasteful shows of affection from time to time. But when I'm sitting in a coffee shop trying to read and enjoy a cup of coffee, and I have to see two people shoving their faces at each other like in the image provided at right, it makes me want to puke just a little. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm just bad karma single guy. I don't know. All I know, is that if I see another two pairs of doe eyes looking longingly into each other for THREE FUCKING HOURS, I might just have to get up and leave before things get out of hand. Go ahead, grab butts, hold hands, hell, even cuddle in next to each other on the couch -- yes, even I know that's what it's there for and I feel that much worse when I have to sit on it by myself. Just save the saliva party for when you get home, or else you might just be dodging a mug upside your dome-piece.
who are there with their significant other. Now; I'm all for loving the one you're with, and I believe in tasteful shows of affection from time to time. But when I'm sitting in a coffee shop trying to read and enjoy a cup of coffee, and I have to see two people shoving their faces at each other like in the image provided at right, it makes me want to puke just a little. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm just bad karma single guy. I don't know. All I know, is that if I see another two pairs of doe eyes looking longingly into each other for THREE FUCKING HOURS, I might just have to get up and leave before things get out of hand. Go ahead, grab butts, hold hands, hell, even cuddle in next to each other on the couch -- yes, even I know that's what it's there for and I feel that much worse when I have to sit on it by myself. Just save the saliva party for when you get home, or else you might just be dodging a mug upside your dome-piece.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
the first of many.
Greetings dear readers, and welcome. I'll try not to be some pathetic blogger who spends hours cataloging the lame minutia of their everyday lives. I hope to use this as sort of a "how to" list of the finer things in music, literature, and other things that interest me. As this is my first post and I'm feeling rather uncreative, I'll be brief. As of today, here are five picks and four pans that may make your life a little more interesting and fun...
PICKS:
1) The album "Loveless" by My Bloody Valentine - many hipsters feel this is one of the greatest makeout albums known to humankind. I just think it's a groundbreaking collection of great music.
2) Absinthe being legalized. Yes, it's not quite like the shit you can get in Europe, but I have to admit, I love the convenience of going down to my local liquor store and getting a bottle, rather than ordering online and waiting. Yes, more poseurs are going to jump on the bandwagon, but there's not much anyone can do about that.
3) pandora.com - most people as geeky as me already know and use this obsessively. I am re-discovering how good this can be. With radio being in the state that it is right now, this is the best way to get exposed to new music.
4) Charles Bukowski - I picked up an anthology of a bunch of his work (stories, poems, and excerpts from novels) for cheap, and was reminded of just how much I love his stuff. I need a drink.
5) NHL '97 for Super Nintendo. I grew up on this game, before its Genesis companion was popularized in Swingers, and still enjoy playing it to this day. Eleven years later, there is still no one who can touch The Red Wings in this game.
PANS
1) Television - other than a select handful of shows (most notably Chuck and American Gladiators) Television has gone to pot. Sure, I love watching women whore it up for washed up rockstars as much as the next person, but if they come up with another "best new show of mid-season" I think I might just give up.
2) "the technical revolution" - I swear, if I have to see the letter "i" in front of another innovation, I'm going to go down to Cupertino and personally kick Steve Jobs in the iNuts. Phones are for calling. Mp3 players are for music. Computers are for everything. Stop trying to blur the fucking lines.
3) The word "guesstimate" fortunately, it seems to have fallen from the parlance of our time, but there are still some assbag suits out there who drop it from time to time.
4) The Marina District - if you're from, or have been to, SF - you know what I'm talking about. I refuse to pay a cover to get into a bar full of frat boys and girls who care about what car you drive and your annual salary. I'm broke and I drive a POS Rodeo, give me a fucking beer.
PICKS:
1) The album "Loveless" by My Bloody Valentine - many hipsters feel this is one of the greatest makeout albums known to humankind. I just think it's a groundbreaking collection of great music.
2) Absinthe being legalized. Yes, it's not quite like the shit you can get in Europe, but I have to admit, I love the convenience of going down to my local liquor store and getting a bottle, rather than ordering online and waiting. Yes, more poseurs are going to jump on the bandwagon, but there's not much anyone can do about that.
3) pandora.com - most people as geeky as me already know and use this obsessively. I am re-discovering how good this can be. With radio being in the state that it is right now, this is the best way to get exposed to new music.
4) Charles Bukowski - I picked up an anthology of a bunch of his work (stories, poems, and excerpts from novels) for cheap, and was reminded of just how much I love his stuff. I need a drink.
5) NHL '97 for Super Nintendo. I grew up on this game, before its Genesis companion was popularized in Swingers, and still enjoy playing it to this day. Eleven years later, there is still no one who can touch The Red Wings in this game.
PANS
1) Television - other than a select handful of shows (most notably Chuck and American Gladiators) Television has gone to pot. Sure, I love watching women whore it up for washed up rockstars as much as the next person, but if they come up with another "best new show of mid-season" I think I might just give up.
2) "the technical revolution" - I swear, if I have to see the letter "i" in front of another innovation, I'm going to go down to Cupertino and personally kick Steve Jobs in the iNuts. Phones are for calling. Mp3 players are for music. Computers are for everything. Stop trying to blur the fucking lines.
3) The word "guesstimate" fortunately, it seems to have fallen from the parlance of our time, but there are still some assbag suits out there who drop it from time to time.
4) The Marina District - if you're from, or have been to, SF - you know what I'm talking about. I refuse to pay a cover to get into a bar full of frat boys and girls who care about what car you drive and your annual salary. I'm broke and I drive a POS Rodeo, give me a fucking beer.
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