The "We" Thing

I spend a decent amount of the week (and really a decent amount of my life these days) around a number of married friends and coworkers. I am a big fan of all of them, and all of their respective spouses (at least those I've met, and hell, even those I haven't met). There's one thing, however, that does tend to grind my gears a little bit.

Yes, I know this comes from my bitter single self. It comes from having oh... six years or so of fairly contiguous singularity. But I tell you what, it still kind of makes me a little grumpy from time to time when friends only in the "we". And no, I don't mean the royal "we."

For instance, when I ask a friend what he (because let's be real, it's a he 95% of the time) did the past weekend or what he's up to that night, I am asking him. I know that for most married couples (at least I'd certainly hope so) their evening and weekend plans often involve one another, but come on. Once you light that unity candle, there's a reason you don't blow out your individual candle. To hear statements like "we don't get out as much as we used to" or "I have to see what we're up to this weekend" it is really just a way of making it seem more passive that you have to check with the wife before doing things. I get that. I understand that. Hell, I support that. By all means, please communicate with your loved one. Just don't try to pass it off as something it isn't - just say "I have to check with the wife" or whatever it is. And when I ask how you are doing, I am asking how you are doing. Allow me that and give me a straight answer; chances are, right after I ask that, I'll ask how the wife is doing. (or the husband, or the life partner - I love 'em all)

Yes, I realize in the sick twisted world that is English Grammar, the plural of two people is also "you". If anybody knows that, it's me. But do you really think your single buddy would really be asking about the coupled activities that filled the days of you two people sharing in matrimony?

Again, I know that I just sound like bitter single guy, but I really don't think I am (at least not in this particular instance). I congratulate and commend all of you wonderful married readers for your years of wedded bliss, and I wish you many more, and in this case, I do mean you as in you two, whomever "you two" may be. But I just want to put the word out there as a public service announcement for all you wonderful married folk, be mindful of your "we" since there are some people who have been an "I" for entirely too long.