Come on, now.

I can't really believe this... I have never been much of a jeans guy. Generally speaking, I have one pair at a time, and wear it in somewhat even rotation with a few pairs of Dickies and whatever pants I happen to be fond of at the moment.

So my most recent pair of jeans met an ill-fated end in a Fourth of July game of kickball. Now, with my new found employment, it is time for a new pair of jeans. Over the last few years my standard M.O. is to go to Old Navy and buy as close to the same pair that I last had. In recent weeks and months, I have been considering a bit of an upgrade. Naturally, being of hearty proportion like I am, I have a bit more of a challenge in finding properly fitting jeans than most folks I know. So I decided to take the plunge and look online and see what I could find at the Gap team of websites. While I was excited to see a full line of styles and colors that I might actually fit in to, I was distressed by one thing: the fact that there were suddenly twenty six options to cover my ass in more amazing and stylish ways. Don't even get me started on what I found at the Levi's website.

When did this happen? I used to be able to go to stores, look for "a pair of jeans" and be pointed to a wall where I would choose between light and dark. How did we suddenly get "low rise skinny boot cut in distressed vintage wash"? I realize that fashion has come a long way since my younger days, but what the hell is next? Honestly, half of what I love about Dickies is that I know exactly what I am getting when I buy a pair. How in the world are you supposed to know without trying on what the difference between the Old Navy boot cut painter's jeans and the Gap straight leg regular fit jeans are? I realize there are variations between brands in how things fit, but come on.

In the meantime, I'm keeping my fingers crossed about the "Standard Fit Straight Leg Dark Blue Wash Jeans" from Gap.