Help.... it ain't just for Beatles any more.

Oh, it was so good to be back at the coffee shop tonight. I made a fruitless effort on Thursday to return, but much to my dismay, when I arrived there not only was there nowhere to sit, there was some hippie lady singing hippie fuckin' music about how great it is to be respected and empowered or some shit like that. I didn't stick around long enough to really pay attention.

Luckily, tonight was a different story. I walk in, order my coffee, find a seat on the couch, and go about my business. Eventually a female roughly my age comes and sits next to me. I can't help but notice that she is on YouTube. And she is watching some of the craziest videos I've seen.

Now before I continue, I want to make two things absolutely clear:

1) I have nothing in particular against self help stuff. It has helped many people, and I have even read a few, though I can't say the particularly enriched my life. I was just in that "read everything" mode.

2) I don't go to the coffee shop to find people to mock, nor do I make a habit of screen-peeking. I simply stumble across people who happen to do "interesting" things on their computer... two feet from my face.

Now, having said that, I couldn't help but see this. This chick was watching weird videos about stuff like (I swear, I couldn't make these up if I tried) "Universe Power," "Astonishing Power of Emotions," and "Reading Your Feelings." This was fascinating enough in and of itself. Then, all of a sudden, she gets into the relationship ones, and these ones are the ones that my bitter, cynical, black hearted self just rip to shreds. "Tips on How To Make Him Like You" or "Seven Things Women Do Wrong During Lovemaking That Turn Men Off" Or a personal favorite "Ten Things All Cheating Men Say." I understand the need for these videos, but most were just glorified PowerPoint presentations, but do you really think you're going to find someone out there if you go out in public to watch videos like "Three Reasons Why Men Will Not Call" you might not necessarily have the best approach. I'm not saying I know much of anything about picking up folks randomly or anything like that, and my track record will certainly speak to that effect, but still, it just seems a little sad to me. Plus, while I realize men are patently stupid, universal cure-alls like that really just cloud women's heads with thoughts and signals that aren't really applicable. I could go on and on about the whole "reading into things" and rampant speculation that goes on with the fairer sex, but I am growing a tad weary and I'll just end up sounding spiteful.