Genius

First and foremost, dear readers, let me apologize for not posting yesterday, but alas my internet crashed around one in the morning, so I had not yet begun to blog, and I couldn't even get a hard-wired connection, let alone my darling wireless. But I'm back, so you can all rest assured going into the weekend.

It's not a term I throw around loosely. Actually, I don't think I use it hardly at all. But tonight, I'm feeling a little maudlin, so I figure I'll let slip a little. I've seen a few things in my life that I can say really move me -- like seeing the Mona Lisa or the Sistine Chapel in person, or listening to some of those rare great performances by musicians through the ages. Now I'm sure you're all asking yourselves "Okay, so he's talked about renaissance art and great musical performances... who is he going to call a genius?" Well, I'm not. At least not right now.

This whole line of thought was brought to my mind this afternoon when I was talking with a friend, and he said something that struck a chord with me: he said he feared living a life of mediocrity, or just being average. I myself vacillate in and out of this mindset from time to time. I fear that I will finish my schooling, outgrow my musical performance, and settle into a comfortable job and lifestyle. While this is not, by any means, a bad thing, I know there is a part of me that feels like in some way, I need to leave a bit greater legacy. Granted, I may well some day get married and have a child, and that is as much as almost anyone could ask for. However, in the meantime, the "me" who hasn't had a decent date in much longer than I'd like to admit feels like the clock is ticking if I am going to land upon this great contribution. There are some things that just have to happen at a certain point in one's life. For instance, take Pearl Jam. They rose to prominence in the "grunge explosion" of the early nineties. If you see them perform today, they still rock; however, they have grown and matured. They put out different music, and I can assure you, if I just heard them playing at some local club tomorrow, I might not think they are all that great. This is also why Cobain's death was such a significant aspect of the entire ethos of Nirvana: in his death, Kurt Cobain never had to mature or adapt his music. (This is, of course, ignoring the fact that Nirvana was already starting to decline in popularity and listenership in its waning years)

So don't go worrying about me - I'm not down in the dumps or blue or anything like that. I guess more than anything else, I'd like to experience more moments of that feeling - of experiencing genius in action or witnessing it up close. I'm going to embed footage of the Pixies doing "Wave of Mutilation" unplugged to show you what I mean. Just listen, close your eyes, and when it's done, if you haven't gotten chills from it, you are really missing something.